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 Lucky Country?

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ghezzi
Fra Cristoforo
Fra Cristoforo


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Age : 59

PostSubject: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 2:32 pm

Don't wanna be accused of getting political, but;

              The Squirrel and The Grasshopper


                              REST OF THE WORLD VERSION  



The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house

and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter,

so he dies out in the cold.

 

                                             THE END


                            NOW   THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION


The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying

up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know

why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the

grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of

the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.


The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth,

this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.


The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Housing Commission of

Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.


The ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news, broadcasts a

multi cultural choir singing 'We Shall Overcome'.


Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel got rich off the backs of

grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share'

and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Melbourne city centre.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and

Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's

taxes are reassessed.

He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders,for the work he was

doing on his home, and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper

did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house, financial aid to furnish it and an

account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society - in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes,

the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.


The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking

cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with

mice.

On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians' apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but

were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in

custody.

Initial moves to make them return to their own country were abandoned because it was feared

they would face death by the mice.


The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.

A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though

spring is still months away, while the Housing Commission house he is in, crumbles around him

because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs.

Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'Illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arrival in Australia.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs

habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.

He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10 million and state the obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers.

Legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.

The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural

diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.


The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.

The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root

causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.


They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights were infringed when the government failed

to inform them there were mice in Australia.


The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies

have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are

increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65

because of a shortfall in government funds.


This then, pretty much sums up what's happening in Australia today, Lucky country?


THE END
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beetle
GRiSO
GRiSO


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 2:46 pm

I stopped reading about half way.
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Scot p
Grignapoco
Grignapoco


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 2:58 pm

Retire at 65, I wish, I'm 45 and understand I will be working until I die...


cya
Scot.
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ghezzi
Fra Cristoforo
Fra Cristoforo


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 4:11 pm

I take it all as TIC but there is an element of truth that some will stretch for their political purposes.

Unfortunately Scott, at 57 now, I fear we'll be working side by side when I fall off the perch too.
'Twas the way for the last few thousand years ......................
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plantboy
Don Abbondio
Don Abbondio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 4:17 pm

beetle wrote:
I stopped reading about half way.
Me too Wayne, but I get your drift.  Personally, I reckon those illegal immigrant squirrels should be sent back to where they came from.  Marsupials rule OK!
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beetle
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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 4:30 pm

Quit bitching. Australia is paradise compared to some places, and pretty much every other country is fucked financially.
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Pete Roper
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GRiSO


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 4:47 pm

Only thing duller than boring left wing memes is boring right wing memes and anyway Campbell Newman does look like a penis wearing a suit......
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DungeonMaster
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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 4:49 pm

I thought it sounded Just Like things here in The States.
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Oz1200Guzzi
Don Abbondio
Don Abbondio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 6:45 pm

I read the lot and loved it - laughed a lot - otherwise I would heave to resort to drugs to beat off the blues, and then I would be one of the members of that story, if I'm not already. Gee I think I just confused myself. Beer o'Clock - lucky it's not a drug.

Young readers out there - take heed!
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Street
Nibbio
Nibbio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 7:54 pm

DungeonMaster wrote:
I thought it sounded Just Like things here in The States.

Only here the characters would be represented by a rat and a cockroach...

Australia, America, they both begin with "A".

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Street
Nibbio
Nibbio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 7:58 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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ghezzi
Fra Cristoforo
Fra Cristoforo


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:08 pm

If you ever thought cultures take centuries to change, check this out.


The European Commission


The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!
Herr Schmidt
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plantboy
Don Abbondio
Don Abbondio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:25 pm

Sounds just like Arnie speak to me.  Mathias Cormann is pretty good with it too.
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Oz1200Guzzi
Don Abbondio
Don Abbondio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:16 am

a crack up! Indeed
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beetle
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GRiSO


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:31 am

Where's the bus? I need to throw myself under it.
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Enzo the baker
Grignapoco
Grignapoco


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 3:57 am

The squirrel and the grasshopper.

Lest we forget: "Brevity is the soul of wit."
Shakespeare,
 Polonius, Hamlet act 2 scene 2.
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Grisonut
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GRiSO


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:30 pm

DungeonMaster wrote:
I thought it sounded Just Like things here in The States.

Pretty much.
Matches the morons that are running the show in the US...
I came in the States to avoid the Socialism that is so embedded in France only to find out that this shit followed me here.Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
Bastards!!
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Oz1200Guzzi
Don Abbondio
Don Abbondio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:37 pm

beetle wrote:
Where's the bus? I need to throw myself under it.

Then some law-abiding citizen will need to clean up your mess, not to mention all the years of therapy for the driver, who will get some paltry amount of $550 or so, to keep him in therapy for the rest of his life, as he will no longer be able to work in case some wanker decides to throw themselves under "HIS" bus.

Just live out your life like the rest of us miscreants/decrepits, and enjoy the ride!
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beetle
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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:21 pm

Killjoy. Suspect
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Oz1200Guzzi
Don Abbondio
Don Abbondio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:57 pm

There is strong liquor!
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Blue
Nibbio
Nibbio


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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:10 pm

Just live out your life like the rest of us miscreants/decrepits, and enjoy the ride!

Thats a quote I can live with cheers
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beetle
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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Fri Feb 06, 2015 12:39 am

I just had a very robust beer. Thanks and goodnight.
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PostSubject: Re: Lucky Country?   Today at 3:18 am

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