Sadly my bulk has nothing to do with too much food and everything to do with buggered lungs from fifty years of smoking so I can't excercise properly and a terrible love of beer.......

It is what it is. There are no Purple Hearts for self inflicted wounds......

Ah. I feel your pain. I too have buggered lungs for the same reason. Thats the technical term - colloquially, it is COPD.

Buellbloke Sfregiato

Posts : 409 Join date : 2021-07-30 Age : 58

Subject: Re: Fork seals Tue Jan 04, 2022 6:52 am

As much as people hate vaping, switched 8 months prior to my stroke. Prob saved me lots of f*cked body parts. The way I put it is 10 years ago walking the quarter mile up hill to my garage required a lengthy rest to recover as breathless. 10 years later nearly 3 stone heavier, older joints significantly less fit takes me mere moments to recover. A lung X-ray after a few years showed all traces of shadows gone. Only downside to vaping is that crutch what calms you down with smoking is non existant with vaping.

beetle GRiSO Capo

Posts : 9050 Join date : 2013-09-30

Subject: Re: Fork seals Fri Jan 07, 2022 3:07 am

OK, I'll explain.

It is straightforward to calculate the local expansion. Since we have the potential expressed as a n-order polynomial, we only need to plug in the value of (dx, dy, dz) for each beer to obtain the potential for it. The local expansion of the potential is a polynomial of the belly's coordinates. Taking the derivative of the potential with respect to a beer gut, one can obtain the (p − 1)th-order polynomial for the field on the respective direction. The variables in the belly expansions are analytical functions of the coordinates. To calculate the field by the beer expansion, we take the derivative with respect to the guts by the chain rule, and we obtain the expression of the belly expansion as:

It is straightforward to calculate the local expansion. Since we have the potential expressed as a n-order polynomial, we only need to plug in the value of (dx, dy, dz) for each beer to obtain the potential for it........and we obtain the expression of the belly expansion as: Ex={∂ϕ/∂dx⋅d²/2dx²+2∂ϕ/∂dy⋅dxdy+2∂ϕ/∂dz⋅dxdz+ϕ/⋅dx⋅d}

Of course the "d" factor is a complex result of the interaction of variables For example the input excercise quotient (IEQ) which subtracts from the expansion co-efficient according to the excercise required to get the beer into the mouth. Thus Light Ale is obviously less work to lift than the Scottish Heavy and beers with a large mass of foamy head reduce the workload for a given volume e.g. Johns Smiths & some lagers.

Updates to accepted IEQ values

The standardised glass for all IEQ is a Nonic Linky to Nonic Weight: 335g; heavier glasses will upset the calculation

There is no longer an accepted IEQ difference between opening flip-top bottles and opening crown caps

Manually drawn beer (Real Ale in English) has no addtional IEQ as all excercise goes to the bar-staff and not the drinker

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GuzziSteve Fra Cristoforo

Posts : 481 Join date : 2016-04-14

Subject: Re: Fork seals Fri Jan 07, 2022 11:09 am

If you take a piss does all that change?

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Clancy Nibbio

Posts : 624 Join date : 2016-02-09

Subject: Re: Fork seals Sat Jan 08, 2022 12:06 am

I’ve gone over all this and can find no fault. The mathematics is sound and holds true, at least theoretically. One does have to wonder if it can be proven in the real world where random interactions could deviate results, such as GuzziSteve’s query about taking the piss.

Interestingly, Mark’s formula is also the basis for propagating the reactive resonance of one’s own belch and, as noted by lcjohnny, the ‘d’ factor is highly significant to the result.

Taking Mark’s Ex as a function of time, ∂(Ex)/∂t, and performing a Fourier Transform results in a complex valued function of frequency, whose magnitude represents the amount of that frequency present in the original function, and whose argument is the phase offset of the basic sinusoid in that frequency.

Clearly the differing ‘d’ factor in the differing brews results in a differing frequency when gaseous expulsions occur.

Marvellous isn’t it!

Last edited by Clancy on Sat Jan 08, 2022 12:29 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Trogladyte Carlotto

Posts : 28 Join date : 2016-03-11 Age : 62

Subject: Re: Fork seals Sat Jan 08, 2022 9:31 am

Ok. I can't find the parts at a sensible price. So I'm going to rechrome. Problem is my tame Guzzi mechanic doesn't have room to store the bike while the forks are away for some work. So I need to get the forks off at Trog Towers. What's my best option for lifting the bike? Will a Becker lift and a car jack work for dropping the forks out?

beetle GRiSO Capo

Posts : 9050 Join date : 2013-09-30

Subject: Re: Fork seals Sat Jan 08, 2022 12:54 pm

Yes. I do something similar. You only need to get the front wheel a wee bit off the ground. Loosen the front wheel nut beforehand.

Pete Roper GRiSO Capo

Posts : 8722 Join date : 2013-05-29 Age : 64

Subject: Re: Fork seals Sat Jan 08, 2022 1:01 pm

I'd avoid any sort of hydraulic jack as they have a tendency to bleed down. If you want to you can use one under the sump but chock the sump when it's high enough to get the front wheel off the ground.

Ideally use a scissor lift under the sump with a piece of wood between it and the sump.